Ranked "Top 30" in parenting blogs to follow!

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Life Equivalencies and Invisibility Cloaks

I haven't written or added much to this blog in a few years, actually. It all started when I realized that while caregiving for Elisabeth and all her needs, the world was changing in regard to healthcare cost, living expenses,  and I didn't keep up.  When ACA went into effect, for example, things were looking great.  Our premiums decreased significantly from $3,000+ monthly to half of that which was a huge relief for my self-employed husband because we were only drawing one income, had two children entering  college, and we were caregiving for one daughter  at home.

Eight years and counting, the premiums are almost the same, but now we pay for office visits, pharmacy, surgery, etc. And oddly, we have a high deductible for being healthy.    So basically our healthcare is only as good as the next catastrophe that awaits us. Cancer, I hope not.  Alzheimer's?  Please God. No. It's typical for  boomers like me, I think,  to stay ahead of the curve balls  life throws at you.  So here I am, lifting the invisibility cloak of caregiving  and looking for jobs outside the home offering quality healthcare to  hold us over until Mike is ready to sell his business and retire.   The challenge for me is finding new and challenging employment opportunities,  caregiver or not.

Fortunately, for the time being,  I'm working part-time as a sacristan at a beautiful and an architecturally significant post modern chapel on a college campus were I continue observing the uncanny similarities in attitudes, perceptions, and  motivation about why people attend museums and churches.  
 

It's a lot like working for the  museum where I pursued a career pathway studying why people visit museums in general.   People, you see,  have similar attitudes about why they attend museums and churches.  They want to be visible, validated,  and celebrate their humanity. Both church and museum are community repositories to share  knowledge and fellowship. People  go  to museums and churches because they are passionate, social, curious, and want to live their life to the fullest.  And people young and old  need validation.

Even though it's a part-time job,  it releases me from my life as a caregiver while Elisabeth attends an adult daycare program. Thank God.  She is safe. And a great weight has been lifted.

A sacristan, in case you don't know,  is responsible for the inventory and collection of sacred and secular materials used for mass, sacraments, and faith formation. Having extra  time, I can do other things to make the chapel more homey for both the parishioners and students.  Today for example, as I was updating the student mass schedule handout and making welcome signs for the doors,  I felt a sense of purpose. I felt valued. Appreciated. Challenged.  I felt that inner peace.  A feeling of hope that  no matter what happens, we'll be fine.

It's only until I'm driving home, I start thinking about my future and how absolutely out-of- control it is for me losing my financial independence.  Its  not fair for  one spouse  to bare the sole responsibility of  keeping  a family afloat especially in this day and age.

Recently, I've been  struggling with mortality issues, too,  because I'm in a higher age  bracket and feeling very particular about how I want to spend my time. So I use the length of time of living in my homes -- nineteen years in my current home and 11 years in the previous home-- to calculate how much time I have to live my life while also preparing for Elisabeth's life without me.

Lots of wonderful things happened in the last  19 years. And 11 years before that in our first home where Elisabeth's story begins.  If I'm really lucky, I'll have the combined lifetime of living in both houses and all the joy the last 30 years brought me!

It would be great, too, to be lucky and remain in good health.  And not worry so much.  My point, I guess, is that  I want to enjoy my life and take on a new career outside the home  but I'm feeling the challenge of marketing myself,  lifting my invisibility cloak,  and letting the world know, I am ready. Are you ready for me, world?

What I  want most is quality healthcare to maintain a quality life, but right now, our healthcare insurance from the exchange is   zapping our lifestyle and  depleting  our resources due to the high premiums placing  families like mine  under a different cloak of invisibility.   A cloak that is hiding the fact that great health insurance benefits and low premiums came at the expense of people like me who are paying higher premiums and getting no benefits.