Wright's Law Web site has a great ARTICLE about writing IEPs or "individualized education plan."
From our own experience, it involves first identifying the child's strengths & abilities. What is this child capable of doing? This might involve having your child accessed by a team of early childhood experts before meeting with the school's psychologist.
To connect with the early childhood experts you need to contact an intervention team through a specialized organization or advocacy group. (DSA, NCPA, CAB, etc.) Most children's hospitals locally will have a list of local organizations and agencies that provide early intervention and education for new parents. It is CRITICAL that parents begin this journey early before the child is 3 years old.
Initially, our daugher's psychological accessment put her at a very, very young age so we wrote her IEP based on measurable goals and objectives according to her abilities based on where she is "developmentally." Her education plan isn't focused on academics. Not yet, anyway. Her education plan is focused on what SHE can do, not what her peers are doing.
We would have her in a classroom with her peers if that would be appropriate for her but it's not. She isn't anywhere near their "cognition" so she attends a therapeutic-based school where the focus isn't driven by academic standards or achievement.
That's our choice and fortunately we still have this alternative thanks to "continuum of alternative placement."