Some of you have noticed a change in tone here on this blog. My anger, frustration, and hang ups don't appear to be the driving force here. Have I changed?
I met a boy a few days ago. His name is Aiden Crane. His father was kind enough to share his story on a blog called the "Useless Tree" and I came away from the experience looking at things a little bit different. For me, connecting with my past to help see the future provides healing. The healing came in the form of the "Tao te Ching" a book that has helped me rediscover myself and how I can be a better mother.
I read this book back in college and had to immerse myself into the history and culture before I could fully grasp it's meaning. I remembered when I first discovered it's origin and the time in which the authors lived. I learned it was written in response to the times in the way all wisdom is born and transferred. A time in history, in all our histories past or present, where people resort to hoodwinking to get things done.
I decided it is overestimated the amount of wisdom that oozes out of a person once they have found themselves the victim of hoodwinking, until we listen to a comedian. The story of Lao Tzu, for example, when Gongfutzi comes calling, is really very funny. You see, Gongfutzi travels a long distance to learn the meaning of life and the way from Lao Tzu, an old sage and presumed to be an author of the "Tao te Ching." Lao Tzu is crabby and irritated by this request.
Lao Tzu tells Gongfutzi something like by the time you find the answer, you'll be dead, so don't worry yourself. I think this is when Kongfuzi changed directions in his life because he couldn't accept this as an answer. There had to be more for him to life, a special path, and as a result he transformed into the person known today as Confucius.
I'm not implying to have any wisdom here on this blog. But it was the connection I made to the "Tao te Ching" and to Aiden that helped me see a new beginning and the value of my experiences as a mother, negative and positive, without compromizing my integrity or the integrity of others.